At first, I was going to share about the effects of viral infection on my brain.. about how I can feel that my memory's not so good. About me losing money, being more careless than normal..

But.

I just have to share my thoughts and small agonies. Like communication with my dad. Since young, I've feared my dad, scorned him for his method of education, rebelled in small ways, talked back to him in sarcastic tones. In fact, it still persist even now.

I'm trying to stop all that, I really want to obey and honour my parents. But.. it's just so difficult talking to my dad. At our best, my dad and I are more like buddy-style, I'll joke with him, and he'll probably put me down in a teasing manner. I'm fine with it, because at least I can feel the love from him. At our worst... to me, the worst is when I try to reason with my dad, I eliminate all saracasm, I speak in a gentle manner and all fails. He just gets angry, orders me to stop and leave and he starts banging things around and finally stops whatever he's doing, complaining about me.

How now? What do I do? I'm trying to just explain something. Point out a small error on his part, improving communication. And it's just so difficult because even the nicest method fails. How do I communicate with my dad? Must he be winning all the time? No person can.

Because although he wins and saves his pride by ordering me off and saying the last word, but he's broken a little piece of connection between us. And I never want that. I never do. Much as I try, I'm really at my wits end. The conversation topic is not serious, not major at all, but look at the catastrophe. *sighs and lays back*

What can I do. What can I do.